The Psychology of Self Motivation
How often do you feel demotivated?
How often do you find yourself stuck?
How often do you feel that being happy requires a lot of effort?
What do you do to find that last hope?
We often find ourselves low on motivation for doing even the basic day-to-day tasks. We feel lost and it takes a lot of effort to complete the simplest assignment. We end up comparing our progress with others and begin to feel bad about ourselves, also might get caught up in self-sabotaging behavior. However, while we are reckoning our shortcomings and weaknesses, we forget that Happiness is a choice. In this blog, I am going to give you a few take-home lessons so that you do not have to work too hard to find that motivation, and you are able to heal at a decent pace. You have to just keep in mind that healing is a slow process but a progressive one.
There is a lot of content available online and offline that talks about how you can make a list of tasks you have been procrastinating, or how you can do the best self-talk, or hit the gym, climb a mountain, or what not… but amazingly, literally no one talks about the importance of ‘DOWNTIME with your emotions’.
- DOWNTIME with your emotions: We feel demotivated too quickly if there’s a slight deviation in our planned tasks, or things don’t go as we might have planned. So here, it is very important that you take some time off, sit with your emotions, and feel the “feeling”. For example, if you were expecting a pay increase at work, and for some reason, you didn’t get one, at that moment you feel disheartened and demotivated. The best you can do is Identify and sit with that feeling for a couple of minutes. Acknowledge the feeling (sad/disappointed/ bad etc.). Reflect on that feeling and then try to answer the question of ‘why’ you are feeling sad. Try to find the learning behind the whole situation.
Note: The moment you identify and acknowledge the feeling, you’ve already won half of the battle. Then reflecting and knowing the lesson behind that particular incident only becomes a cakewalk.
- Take it as a challenge: The general assumption and understanding of the word ‘ego’ is very negative. However, the definition of ‘ego’ states that it is a ‘person’s sense of self-esteem and self-importance’. Take it to your ego! Take it as a challenge and prove them wrong! Although the opinions of others shouldn’t matter much, we end up overthinking about what other people think of us. So, if you are feeling demotivated and seeing others succeed is bothering you much, take it to your ego and work your best to claim your victory. Healthy challenges never cause any harm to anybody.
- Talk it out to your loved ones: As social beings, social interaction is a must-do for us. Therefore, it is very important that we talk and communicate our feelings to our loved ones. At times, even if they are not able to help you exactly as you need, just by sharing your situation, a sense of belongingness transpires. They may console you, empathize with you, and guide you, in all cases, they will make you feel that you matter! And trust me, you do matter!
- Channelize the energy: When you have done the previous three steps we just discussed, and you are still not feeling right, it is best to channel the pent-up energy to the pending task. Doing so includes two perks, number one, you are able to work more efficiently, and number two, your long pending tasks get completed. Trust me, once you have followed this step, you no longer will have a burdened heart, and also, you will find your motivation.
Healing is a slow process, and it progresses with consistent efforts. Life is not a bed of roses for everybody, and we all have our battles to fight. But in the end, what’s life without some excitement and adventure? It’s boring and drab.
It is important that you find your happiness. It is important that you find that passion and motivation. It is important that you follow your heart!
Authored By
Dr. Jyotika Goyal
Assistant Professor (Psychology)
Department of Psychology, NCU